brodyblue's Diaryland Diary

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dead

Things are shit...
I don't know how to fix them. It's so fucking hard to be happy anymore. I fucking love that boy. I LOVE HIM. But I am nothing to him. God I wish I could change this, be his everything. I miss him so much. What can I do?!?!
I don't have any answers. And it breaks my heart when our eyes meet and I know there is so much there. So much that can never be dug up. I want to be with him so bad, he'll never know. Everytime I want to talk to him he is either too wasted or I just get too frightened. I would do anything for him.. anything. I am so god damn tired of being the broken one. I don't want to waste away. I want to love and be loved back. Sometimes I just want to die. Then it will all end. But I know it's not the way. Things are getting too heavy and he is breaking my heart. I'm siffocating and no one understands.

10:49 p.m. - 2005-04-05

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